CUGCR Alternative Stash Store
Methodoku Offline
No phone signal? Love the sensation of pencil on paper? Have an iPhone? Methodoku Offline has you covered, with 365 fresh puzzles for a full year of Methodoku madness!
£13.99Slithery Sally™
This googly-eyed critter will make a great mascot for any ringing group! Sustainably sourced from old bell ropes. Keep away from ULSCR or UBSCR members.
£16.99Guild Nappy
Premium Adult size nappy with the Guild logo printed on it in urine-safe ink. Perfect for long lengths.
£8.99Your Very Own Mat
Experience the height of rear end comfort on any surface with this portable folding foam mat. No theft required!
£9.99Actual Bucket Hat
High quality steel bucket with an embroidered CUGCR logo lovingly superglued to the surface.
£25.49Cycle Songs: The Album
A disc of delightful drunken ditties, professionally performed by King's College Choir.
£23.99Parallel Universe Mascot
Stuffed gorilla sourced from a dimensional rift. Smells faintly of gunpowder.
£48.49Amazing Technicolour Hoodie
A fabulous garment, will make you the smoothest person in the Ely District. May expose wearers to unimaginable danger.
£299.99Guild Family Tree Poster
This A0-sized poster shows the full official family tree of the guild, dating back to its conception in 1879. Comes with a complimentary magnifying glass.
£79.99Authentic Loving Cup Fluid
Hand-mixed by the President himself, this drink is sure to take you back to heady Guild dinner aftermaths chundering in the Maypole toilet.
£11.99Melissa-proof Handcuffs
Made of hardened steel, this restraining device is guaranteed to get even the wriggliest Nash sibling safely home.
£34.99S̴̘͉̖͍̺̩̃̉̿͌p̵̜̫͗̓į̶͕͇͚̱̺̄̔̅r̸̝͉̎͘͜a̷̢͚͈͓͛̈́ĺ̵̡͇̺͎̗ ̷̺̽̅ͅô̶͚͔̋́f̴͔̤̦̉̏͌̆͌͒ ̶̳̳͕̭̯͍͌͒͆̎̕M̸̧̡̺̀̚o̸͚̥̔̆́̾̑r̷̨̩̽̅̍̏a̴̱͎̭͇̽́̑́l̵̢̛̮̾̚ ̴̫̩͆̃͛͘͘D̴̦̖͉̻̫̖͌̚ê̴̗̹̔̽̕g̵̜̖̲̹͎͆̏́e̵̤̊͆̃̕n̶̰͍͋̀ȅ̷̩̗̐ͅr̸̡̥̈ä̸͉͇̙̓̏̕͝ĉ̷̢͈͈̲̈́̑ÿ̴̖̫͓́̂͌̚͜͝͝
Created during the [REDACTED] on Guild Week ████, this eldritch artefact will [DATA EXPUNGED] the soul of any guild member older than ██ years who gazes upon it.
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